


Day Seven

by TheGeekySquirrel



Series: September Writing Challenge [7]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other, Phase Two (Gorillaz), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre El Mañana, Unresolved Emotional Tension, hope you're ready for some really heavy angst, i mean maybe?, it's a lot of shit, it's that kind of fic ladies gents & esteemed ones, no happy ending, tw for minor psychotic episode, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 23:58:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16051244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGeekySquirrel/pseuds/TheGeekySquirrel
Summary: “I look so flawless right now. Like damn, I would totally date me.”TW for heavily implied child abuse, please do not read if this triggers you!





	Day Seven

The edge of the world was further away now. Now he was safe in his first home, surrounded by his family- _don’t call it a home, don’t call them a family, it’s all temporary_.

 

Now he was in Kong, having a blast- _no, fun is bad, fun makes you attached_ \- talking to his band. The four of them sat in a circle. Stua- _too close_ \- 2D sitting at his feet and dangerously close to spilling his drink all over the carpet from the shaking his laughter spread through his body. Russel sat across from him on the couch, holding their daug- **_no_ ** \- Noodle in his lap. Their little gi- **_stop it_ ** \- guitarist was trying to keep her pout on her face, but it was slipping away fast. Murdoc couldn’t stop grinning at her, despite what the voices in his head told him.

 

She was just too damn _cute_ , despite her insistence otherwise.

 

“Stop laughing, it’s not funny you assholes!”

 

Murdoc only followed her instructions long enough to finish his beer and grab another, “Yes you are, luv. We’re all cute as fuck.”

 

His other two buddies- _no, stop it now, they’re not your friends and they never will be, this is just business, stay in your place and keep them in theirs, it’s all temporary, don’t try to make it more_.

 

The other two idiots looked at him with matching levels of amusement in their faces. 2D burst into a fresh wave of giggles as Russel began shaking his head. The bassist lifted an eyebrow, his smile never wiping itself away.

 

“What?”

 

“Includin’ you, Mudz?” 2D asked jokingly, “You ain’t bad, but ya ain’ great eitha!”

 

Any other day, Murdoc would slap him silly and storm off to the Winnie to stew on that for a while. Today, though, he had more than a few drinks in him and a good mood that wouldn’t quit.

 

“Yeah, of course includin’ me. What, you think I ain’ in this band?” the bassist shot back as he stooped down to steal his- **_stop it now, this isn’t helping_ ** \- their singer’s bottle. Not a single complaint followed him, but a comment that made him stop for a second did.

 

“No, it ain’ like tha’, you juss ain’ that cute, ah don’ fink.”

 

Those simple words put a concrete barrier between the mouth of the bottle and the mouth of the bassist. Old insults from people he’d forgotten about- _you’ll never forget them, you’re just like them and you’re in denial you horrible ugly thi_ \- those bygone words popped back up in his head for the first time in- god, it’d been decades. A sneering face with a too-long nose came alongside them, telling him exactly what the loudest voice in his head said every time he’d ever looked in a mirror.

 

“ _You just ain’t that cute, Murdoc. The judges ain’t givin’ me much money anymore. We’ve gotta up the act, make you fuckin’ irresistable. Maybe that’d make you_ **_useful_ ** _for once in your damned life. Now, put on the costume and practice your routine this instant or it’ll be worse for you._ ”

 

He remembered every second- _every childish tear_ \- of that interaction. He remembered another, softer face looking on with little pity. God, he could still remember being forced onto a stage in the most embarrassing and life-changing moment he’d ever experienced days later in that same ugly costume, tens of slightly drunken eyes trained on him as he’d bawled his eyes out. He could still smell the shitty tobacco and alcohol stained carpet that should’ve been ripped up twenty years before this scrawny little shit had taken the stage. He was back there, he was stuck, he wanted to cry, oh god, he-

 

 _You pathetic shit, not here, they can see you. Do this later, they can’t know you’re weak, do this when they’re not around you_ **_shitstain, fucking faceache_ ** _._

 

He forced himself back into the present because the voice was right, he couldn’t _show any sign of weakness around the band_. All those thoughts and memories had felt like they’d dragged on for too long, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. The others were still looking at him with humor written on their faces, probably expecting some hilarious reaction to 2D’s statement.

 

Murdoc grumbled light-heartedly to them, “I look so flawless right now. Like damn, I would totally date me.”

  
Then he took a swig of his bottle.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry, I totally forgot that I needed to _post_ the prompts I filled! Whelp, this is day seven which was supposed to be out on the 18th.  
>  Back to the fic, yeah, Murdoc's dad was an assdick & I felt the need to do this because I just did. I honestly think Murdoc might have PTSD or something like that from his shitty childhood, considering what how bad of a father I think Sebastian was. As pissed as I am at him for the "lying" he may or may not have done while in jail everything else that makes Murdoc a bad person, I totally agree that he needs help. This one's also a bit of a continuation of day two, so I'd recommend reading that one as well, though this could be stand alone if you don't have the time. 
> 
> Anyways, if you wanna come talk, my ask box is always open at my Tumblr page (@grlz-babe). If you enjoyed this, please consider leaving a kudos or a comment, they really do inspire me! Have a great day & stay safe y'all!


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